Survivor

With the American Thanksgiving holiday coming up this week, practically everyone and their grandmothers are out preparing for the festivities, planning menus, coordinating guests around the table, and offering thanks.

While I may be in Austria away from the hustle and bustle of the frantic turkey shopping, stressful meal preparations, and the countdown for Black Friday (no, really, I am SO grateful to be missing out on that one), I am still taking the time to be grateful and thank God for the tremendous blessings we have received this year.

And they have been tremendous and plentiful indeed.

I had an opportunity to ponder a little over this in the wee hours of the morning while I was up giving my 9-month old a bottle around 2AM...and, in the process, discovered somethings I am "grateful" for that I never once thought I would learn to "appreciate." And, yes, I use quotations on those because, in a way, I may never be truly grateful for them. But, at this moment, in this part of my life, I understand them, now.


I am grateful that I am a survivor.

I am a post traumatic stress disorder survivor and have had to survive the terrible, debilitating effects of this disorder for the last 14 years of my life.

I survived a violent sexual assault 7 years ago.

I survived a near-fatal muscle disease that left me bedridden for many long months, shattering my Olympic dreams and competitive swimming career.

I survived my battle with postpartum and prenatal depression, lost self-esteem and confidence.

And I am grateful for all of these things. Why?

Because I have PTSD, I can understand and encourage others who must learn to live with it as well. I can help them see that it IS possible to live with it. Will it be difficult? Always. But there is help and hope.

Because I survived a sexual assault, I am alive today to tell others that have endured such an unspeakable nightmare that they are not alone. They may feel lost, defeated, worthless and abandoned today. But I can promise them that the sun will shine through the clouds again.

Because my own ambitious dreams were broken, I have been given an opportunity to rebuild them into something far greater, something worth so much more. If that hadn't happened, I may never have had my eyes open to even see this chance, to experience the joys and fulfillment of being a Beachbody Coach!

Because I have gone through the darkness of postpartum depression, I can do my part encouraging others through the fog and shadows to the light on the other side.

We are never, ever alone. That is why I am grateful. (And especially for my wonderful supportive, loving husband who sees me through all of the craziness.)
God truly does work in the most mysterious ways.